CLEAN UP IN BED

A new report suggests that men who do more housework may get more sex from their wives in return.

1   Oh, great, so now I’ve got to change the sheets AGAIN!

2   Men get annoyed after the sex because they just made that bed.

3   Talk about doing some picking up around the house.

MY IMMUNE SYSTEM’S PUNK’D

Guests at Ashton Kutcher’s 30th birthday party at an NYC restaurant may have been exposed to Hepatitis A including Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow. ***

***   Hep A usually gets better on its own. Demi Moore’s keeping Ashton home from school anyway.

***   Officials are recommending that people get shots. Of course, they recommend that for people who come within ten feet of Madonna anyway.

***   Hep A can cause fatigue and dizziness. Gwyneth Paltrow needs to get a shot before she names another baby.

FISHY SCIENCE

German researchers sent 72 fish into outer space to see if they would get motion sickness.***
***Wouldn’t it have been much cheaper to simply strap a goldfish bowl to the bumper of Lindsay Lohan’s car?

BUDDHA CALL

In Thailand authorities have told Buddhist monks to clean up their act after receiving repeated reports of monks using the Web to lure women back to their temple for sex.

Well, let’s be honest. What woman can resist a bald-headed, barefoot, unemployed man in a bathrobe?

DEAD BUT HORNY

For the first time in nature scientists report finding a species, in this case a type of spider, that in order to have sex plays dead.

Clever but my wife/husband claims she/he wouldn’t be able to tell the difference.